THE ABOMINABLE DR. PHIBES

My love, precious jewel and noble wife. Severed, too quickly, too cruelly from this life. I alone remain to give delivery of your pain. Nine killed you. Nine shall die. Nine times, nine! Nine killed you! Nine shall die! Nine eternities in DOOM!
Imagine if you will, an art-deco-black-comedy-camp-horror-film.  What would that look like?  It would probably look like Vincent Prince wearing a gown, talking robotic-ally out of a device in his neck while standing beneath an acid chandelier.  Yeah.  I finally got around to seeing this one.  This movie is really something that has to be seen to be understood.  You will either like it or hate it.  One thing that really struck me about this movie was the tone: Wacky.  This came out in 1971, the same year as A Clockwork Orange, Willy Wonka and Dirty Harry.  There were not many standout horror movies this particular year- Omega Man and the Argento- giallo- Four Flies on Grey Velvet come to mind though.  This film is the definition of cult film.  If you ever ask for a single frame of this movie why something is occurring, the whole movie comes apart.  So I recommend sitting back, keeping an open mind, and just go for this strange ride.  
Anyway, medical men die everyday.  
The movie opens with a hooded figure (Dr. Phibes) playing an organ.  The organ rises from a marble floor to crown the top of a staircase.  The hooded figure then walks from the organ to his CLOCKWORK ORCHESTRA, and begins conducting the creepy suit-wearing bobble heads.  A gorgeous woman (Vulnavia) in white appears from a sliding panel at the adjacent wall and walks across the art deco floor and begins waltzing with the man in black as those creepy musicians play on.  The girl disappears down a secret passage way and the man walks over to what looks like a birdcage shrouded in velvet.  He then lowers it down to the girl who loads it into the Rolls Royce.  By the way for no apparent reason, the Rolls Royce has paintings of Vincent Price in both windows juxtaposing his actually position in the back seat.  The duo drive from Wayne Manor, their estate and drive to a doctor's house.  Our hooded character then proceeds to climb to the top of the house and lower the birdcage through a skylight.  Still with me?  Once the cage reaches the bedroom floor of an unsuspecting victim (wouldn't a suspecting victim be boring?), it opens, releasing BATS.  No really.  The bats suck the man dry and his butler finds him the next day.  When the detectives show up at the sucked-dry-surgeon's house one makes the comment that there was another weird death earlier--a doctor was stung to death by bees.  Hmmm.  As the the Yard begins to investigate we discover all these victims have one thing in common- they were all present at the surgery of one Victoria Phibes.  She wound up on the operating table after a car crash which killed her husband (OR DID IT?).  The surgeons did everything in their power but she died.  Somehow, Dr. Phibes has returned from the grave to revenge the death of his wife.  His tools of revenge include- bats, rats, hail, a frog mask, acid, locust, and a brass unicorn.  Why use the 10 plagues of Egypt on 9 surgeons?  Don't ever ask why during this movie.  Dr. Phibes begins killing off the medical staff one by one, but one doctor, Vesalius figures out what is going on and teams up with the detectives to try and stop Dr. Phibes, who is abominable. 

Where to begin?  I love this movie.  The villain is a sinister doctor,scientist, organist, AND Bible scholar. This guy is a doctor four times over.  The killer engineering nerd from Saw is starting to look like more of a badass right?  Nothing makes sense in this movie and it works to it's advantage.  Why is Vulnavia helping Dr. Phibes? Is she a fembot? An intern?  What's with the device in his neck?  Why does he need a mechanical band?  Where did he get all those animals?  Vincent Price really is one of the coolest actors in this genre.  He never speaks, but his performance is awesome.  Even though he is completely insane, you kind of feel for the guy.  The set design of this movie is fantastic, it's a weird blend of jazz, hieroglyphics, and some futurist stuff thrown in there.   I think a cool movie would be a real estate agent trying to show the old Phibes house and he and his customers get lost and maimed in that art-deco-booby-trapped mansion.  "Over here you'll see there's a huge picture window, and the kids will just LOVE the acid chandeliers, let's move on to the kitchen...closet space? Well, below this floor is a working stone sarcophagus and we'll ride the organ down there in a minute and give it a peek." Another great thing about this movie is the soundtrack.  For a movie featuring faceless men, plane crashes, impalements and bats, it has a great jazzy score.  I can't recommend this movie enough.  It's terribly funny too.  Just see it.  Trust me I'm a psychopath.  


What I Like
I like that for no reason whatsoever Dr. Phibes pulls his face off!
I like that the Saw films are way less creative in their devices compared to these contraptions.  A killer snow-blower!
I just like hearing Vincent Price talk.
I like how, like with most old posters, what you see never happens in the film.  
I like the blowtorch scenes with the wax figures, it's really creepy.  
I like how there is (somehow) a sequel to this movie.  
Don't worry cretins, Dr. Phibes will rise again in the film...Dr. Phibes Rises Again.  Until that day....

Intern